Young Rogue

oh hell..

hv u evr missed someone?evryone has,rite?but hv u evr missed someone u kno is nevr coming bck..in some wayz nehow..and u kno wht..i think tht's worse..knowing u'll talk to him/her..rarely but yes..but it won't b the same...cud nething b more worse?
i dun kno how to rite ths here..it's hard to explain.i kno it will pass..atleast tht's wht i've learnt frm my past..but it still hurts..there's still something missing frm my lyfe..something tht's all the more tangible for having existed b4.
i kno the time will come wen all ths will b but a dull ache and a distant memory to b sought and meditated upon on lazy afternoons..anothr line in my diary of 'wht-ifs'..but rite now, rite here..it seems like the feeling will nevr leave..the feeling of loss, of betrayal, of..did i mention it wsn't easy to describe?
ths is as far as ths goes..i cut it down.i'm off.

note to self..

halchal..

i went to bed at 6am and woke up at 8 at nite..wudn't evn hv then if my sis hadn't come to wake me..howz tht fer sleeping away ur holidays?
no seriously waise must wake up tomorrow..hv to go to soobi's to watch movies..the brat..she just wnts angels and demons!lol.
ps:watched halchal..ws nice.circuit ws cool..maloom hai uss ka koi naam bhi hai..kabhi kar loon gi na yaad..

stupid freak..

used to log out on ppl all da tyme till i realized it wsn't nice (still do it but..well..lesser..newayz..)..now it seems like i'm going to hvta explain tht to somebody else..who am i kidding?..forget explaining..i'll jus' go the best way n' bash him in and mayb he'll get a revelation as to why..and if he doesn't..who care's?..he'll b in no fit shape to log on nehow.

wht is it wid him getting so depressed nehow?stupid freak..i help ppl all ovr  wid their troub les but my cousin can't trust me.i can't trust him eithr but wth...i'm me rite.

huh?!?

devilish..

knew i shuda waited till friday prayers were over b4 showing upto work..waise it ws good i did..added 2 hrs to the attendance sheet coz noone ws abt..hehe..me evil..:twisted:
15 minutes to go b4 i hv ta return..wish me luck so tht i can pass off my 2 and a hrs as 3..again..:twisted:
there r definite blessings to looking so inncocent..:twisted:

Wha?

Is it just me or does the net suddenly make itself boring as soon as i dun hv to study?!?huh huh huh??!

hurting..*sob*

Singing in the morning..

i ws studyin wen all of a sudden ths scary squeaky voice wafted up to me..i kept trying to identify it..my sister..na i KNOW she went to school and she cudn't b bck so soon so who who..

turns out our maid ws singing at the top of her voice while vacuuming..tht ws so sweet..i still hv a smile on my face and she's still singing..i like it wen ppl are happy and i definitely know the goofy singing phase..hell i go thru it pretty often, like last week i ws soo happy, i dun know why..i cudn't stop laughing evn during lectures..it ws uncontrollable i tell ya..and embarrasing since there ws no reason for it and a friend of mine just had it wen i started humming..she went like, 'Now ur humming..HUMMING!! kia ho giya hai tumhe!!'..some ppl..bah..keep on singing i say!! louder..!!

'Aaj main upar..asmaan neeche...
Aaj main aage..zamaana hai peeche...'

trust

Never Explain-

OMG!!!

blah blah..lol

To those of you who have pushed me, thank you.
Without you I would have fallen.
To those of you who laughed at me, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have cried.
To those of you who just couldn't love me, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have known real love.
To those of you who hurt my feelings, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have felt them.
To those of you who left me lonely, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have discovered myself.
But it is to those of you who thought I couldn't do it;
It is you I thank the most,
Because without you I wouldn't have tried.

-anonymous

i got tht off swamy's blog. it just sounds so right, esp. the last line..ppl telling me i can't do something always always get me doing tht thing no matter wht it takes..its like i just hv to work against opposition.

nehow do ck out swamy's blog..he's a good writer.hv fun.

PS:i'm thinking of putting up my pic here..wel let's c..mayb i'll put up one of my friends or cousins.

no topic:so sue me..part 2

-D O.Y O U.E V E R.-
[sit on the Internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. you?]: uh..no
[save messenger conversations]: no
[cry because of someone saying something to you]: rarely

-.H A V E.Y O U.E V E R.-
[been rejected]: no
[rejected someone]: yes
[used someone]: no

-.W H O.W A S.T H E.L A S T.P E R S O N.-
[you talked to on the phone]: arq
[hugged]: dun remember..i've hugged too many ppl these last coupla days..hmm..i think t'was my grandmother
[you instant messaged]: ani
[you laughed with]: cousins

-.D O.Y O U / A R E.Y O U.-
[smoke cigarettes]: no
[obsessive]: no
[could you live without the computer?]: yea but i wudn't wnt to
[how many peeps are on your buddylist?]: 100
[what’s your favorite fruit?]: mangoes and grapes
[drink alcohol?]: no
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: sometimes
[what hurts the most?]: harsh/careless/sarcastic words

-.N U M B E R.-
[of times I have had my heart broken? ]: 0
[of hearts I have broken?]: ahem..next
[of continents I have lived in?]: 2
[of drugs taken illegally?]: 0
[of tight friends?]: 3
[of CDs that I own?]: abt 50
[of scars on my body ?]: 3

-.P I C K.O N E.-
[Cats or Dogs:] dogs
[1 pillow or 2 :] 2
[W/ or w/o ice cubes: ] wid
[Winter/spring/summer/fal l:] fall
[Night or day:] night
[Gloves or mittens:] niether
[Ocean or pool:] pool
[Showers or baths:] showers
[Love or lust:] love
[Silver or gold:] silver
[Diamonds or pearls:] diamonds

-.I F.Y O U.C O U L D.-
[Move anywhere:] i'd stay rite here
[Meet one famous person:] hmm..dunno..dun care
[Live with one person the rest of your life:] dunno

[Name one thing you love:] cards
[Name one thing that embarrasses you:] praise

[Do you like school?] did
[Do you like to talk on the telephone?] no 
[Do you like to dance?] yes
[Do you sing in the shower?] very very rarely
[Do you think cheerleading is a Sport?] nopes
[What's the hardest thing about growing up?] nothing

just some things..

u wudn't believe wht happened today..tht stuff i posted here, rakesh asked me fer it so i sent it and guess wht i got it in return..real shairi (urdu/hindi poetry)!! stupid real romantic shairi..EW! i cud've killed him but to b fair not his fault..he doesn't know me..but ugh!! ew man!! cudn't evn read all of it..

today i decided i wudn't switch on the comp. so i cud concentrate on studying and the one day..yes the one day i decide i'm not logging on turns out to b the day course registration ws switched on (tht ws the reason i had been logging on fer the last coupla days)..faryl told me (again..) so nehow i decided i wud give CS another whirl..a decision which got me a huge 'OMG' and a cringe frm faryl but wth.still it didn't work out..can go fer a CS major later too but if finance slips away its gone forever..so i took 2 a/c course and made up the rest with ss coz taking cs exceeded the units which sux par abhi ke liye chalta hai.

rite now i'm still stuck on maths..boy do i ever hate maths..its a wonder i keep passing..God i need help..fast!! now!!

Aquarian women

A slim, moderately tall woman. The Aquarius woman is a funny and jolly person. She often has a square facial bone structure and high cheekbones. Her round big eyes sparkle with wit and curiosity. You will not see many round-faced Aquarius women, and mainly they will have a strong jaw line. If she is upset, she will not show it and will keep it to herself for a long time. If she gets really mad at you, you will suddenly become a total and complete stranger to her. She is a patient person, but needs excitement. She hates long meetings, long and endless conversations. She can be in love with you today, and another day she could act as if she has never loved you. She is patient with what she wants to do and will never give up until she gets there. She will be very persistent in what she is doing till she has reasons for stopping her project, then she will quit. Money for an Aquarius woman is not the most important factor in life. She thinks of money as an instrument for assuring good living. She loves animals and likes to be surrounded by animals. Love is in her head, but Freedom is in her soul. She has her own ideas about love and is afraid to show her true feeling for fear of rejection. She is not the type to talk about love, but she sure has a strange way to show it. She is not good at showing love, but if she loves you she will be more honest to you than any other woman. Love her, but not too much for she is afraid it will limit her freedom. She always stands out of the crowd for something she dares to do. You could see her dress like a poor farmer dining in the fancy restaurant, or dress like a nun in a cocktail party. She can be cute and funny, but suddenly cool and tough. She has her own style of dressing up, so you could see her dress like an old mate today, and tomorrow she may dress like she comes from Mars. She will have that interesting hairstyle, dress and look different from everyone else. She likes to learn about your dreams and your thoughts. She has fun teasing you and making jokes.If an aquarian women did something wrong, she won't hide it from you, but do not ask when she is not in the mood to talk about it. She hates to owe people money and takes promises seriously. If you promise to pay her back, you'd better pay up. If you want to make it with an Aquarius woman, then do not be jealous or possessive, do not be narrow minded, do not criticize her about nonsense or insignificant matters. Try to like her friends and let her have her privacy, and then she can be very sweet to you.

from another place:
You are a bundle of contradictions, and the same attitude prevails in love. You are faithful in love, but you can also be detached and aloof, if needed. Your demand for freedom is insistent, but your allegiance to anyone who can accept romance within limits is boundless. You have charming manners, and usually behave in a timid, almost reserved way. You loathe being logical. Your mind travels back and forth between today and tomorrow, with no logical pattern. You follow the same policy with commitment. The line between friendship and love is often all but invisible to you. You are susceptible to sudden flashes of inspiration, and your intuition is remarkable.

great..now i am using ths place as a storage bin..lol~!

retarded chicken

chicken's annoying..i'll b damned if i speak to him again till i'm not mad at him, and considering i ws mad at him b4 he evn msg-ed me today tht's gonna b a very long time later..a very very very long time..
hey mayb i shud wait til he finds a brain..lol.

cool sms-es and e-msgs and..ahem..shairi

jaab bhe tumhara sms ata hai
mera roong rroong hill jata hai
anng aaang mai bijli si chaltee hai
kia keroo
sala mobile he viberator pai hota hai

Hello How are u? U know musharaf need 500 donkeys 2 attack India, 499 ja chukey hein, app message parhtay hi niklo

jaise loha lohe ko kattah hai, jaise heera heeray ko kattah hai, jaise pathar pathar ko katta hai...waise hee ek din tumhain kuuta kaatey ga

Kal agar main mar jaoon, e dost mere marne ka ghum nahin karna, aansoo bhi na bahana, meri earthy bhi na uthana, seedhe ooper chale aana... Party karaingay

Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Ghanti bajainge aur bhaag jayenge!!

Promise me we're true frens.
i am lamp u r light
i'm coke u r sprite
i am sawan u r badal..
i am normal u r pagal
i am water u r tanki
i am tarzan u r monkey

Can u pronounce good English: -
read along woof, roof, loof, shoof, shoof,
woof, loof, roof, poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof.
Test results:
U r a good dog. Now stop barking.

I cannot hide this from u any more.
I don't want 2 hurt u and I feel it's best if I tell u,
before you hear it from someone else
............ Potato Prices Have Gone Up!

If u save this MSG, it means I'm cute.
If u edit this, I'm still cute.
If u fwd this, u r spreading that I’m cute &
if u erase this, u r jealous of me coz I’m cute!

This msg. will refresh your brain in 5 seconds.
5....
4....
3....
2....
1....
Error: No Brain Detected!!

Dark were those days, without your sight.
When I was in darkness, you gave me light.
You gave me strength 2 make life bright.
Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT

sharaab bani to mehkhanay banay
husn bana to deewanay banay
kuch to hai aap mai
yewn to nahi pagal khanay banay

Apun wishing you a wonderful,super-duper,zab ardast,xtra-wadhiya, xtra -special,ekdum mastn dhinchak bole to ek dam jhakas ...Ramadan....... Mubarik

Dil mein aansuyo ke mele hain
Tum bin hum bohat akele hain
Sab kuch chod kar tumeh sms karte hain
Dekho hum kitne vele hain

Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii....
Fiteh Mooh...Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!!

Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain
maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain
Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko
aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain....
waaaaahhhhhhhhh..

Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..

Govt. of Pakistan has introduced a new rule
--->  Good Looking people should be thrown out of the country!!!
You are safe.....  Where should i hide?????

Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
liya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi
socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge
magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi...

TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
E-mail KARNE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!

You r my sweet SONA
I don't want u 2 KHONA
I want a place in your heart's KONA
Otherwise i will start RONA
Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA

Umeedo ki manjil toot gayi
aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota
Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,
Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati
shukar hai tum nahi ho!!!

When u feel sad....
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
"damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness.
But don't make this a habit.....
Coz liars go to hell !!!!

Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya

Maine puchha chand se "dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin",
chand ne kaha "saale itni upar se dikhta hai kya".

hey lots of ppl ask fer ths stuff so im posting ths here aisee hi..mayb some urdu speaking person wil stumble across it.

last day of eid..

cuzins were around yesterday so watched naach b4 leaving fer khalas..didn't watch it all but it wsn't bad..atleast not as bad as evryone else made it sound..lol..i ws left watching it alone at the end.i wud like to finish watchin' it but god knows wen it will b on again.i hv my finals starting monday so can't watch much TV nehow..now tht i dun hv the eid excuse..lol.

khala's ws fun..played outdoors..got hurt bad so came in.mom wnted to drag us to planet fer a musical evening but thnx to timely intervention (had to beg my relatives fer help) tht plan ws forestalled.arq got lectured by bajo and khala..pretty cool stuf.then we went to afshaan mami's.

played antakshari..i sure messed up the teams..moosi is a comp..a slow processor according to arq but..and unfortunately fer us..a good one.waise no matter wht kukker sez we did win.then we played dumb sharads where we were better matched.younger cousins are super-annoying waise..just how annoying ws caught on film..

got home really late.watched shark tale just b4 going to sleep..again a very cool flick.

hv only one cd of IR whch sux..chalo dekhen ge..mite b after exams i cud go to khalas and watch it on DVD.i know i'm a movie buff..these days i hardly get time to watch movies..used to b a time wen we cudn't find a movie we hadn't seen wen we went out to rent..

'It ws long ago and it ws far away..but it so much better than yesterday!'
-Paradise by the Dashboard Lights (Meatloaf)

resident evil 2

veer-zaara..and eid

time changes some things..but not all.used to b a time we were hardly ever inside during eid..cricket ws a must, like a tradition.apart frm tht we played cards almost always.then there were othr things..
those things rn't there anymore..but the elders still play bridge evry time.some things ya' know.

watched half of grudge and veer-zaara on eid.t'was damn phuny..not the movie..tht ws lame par uss ka jo mazaak uraya na ahahaha! yash chopra is a nutcase..kuch to pk par research kar li hoti..bekaar movie aur phir dialogue..kia baat thi..i felt like rolling my eyes al the time..watching it was painful..i dun know how wud hv survived it w/o my cousins n' ppl.

gtg now.its the second day of eid so hv to go out and meet ppl..akhir eidee ka sawal hai na..lol.

i love the smell of mehndi...

tension lene ka nahin..tension dene ka..!!

yesterday ws..umm stressful wud b putting it litely..woh kia hai na ziyada windows kholne par apun ka computer crash hota hai..so wht happened ws tht i lost my cs assignment aur phir jo hua hai na bas...did submit it waise..incomplete obviously..at 3 on the dot..phew!

and then yea..research paper ka tension..light went out at 8:30!! had to submit it at 9..god 20% of my grade!! feel like crying jus' thinking abt it..but phir kisee ne apun se kaha.."aaj jo tumhare saath hua hai..bas jaane hi do.ghar ja kar aish karo".and so here i yam wid a raat-jaga all mapped out!!lol.

my new line 8):
tension lene ka nahin..tension dene ka..!!!

kaisa?

just stuff..

the college board sometimes hands out scores to prospective universities..i may hv enabled tht option or something.i dunno.so the thing is that i sometimes get mailed the prospectuses of universities.like today for example i got one from princeton..totally unexpected.i mean i gave my sat like a year bck.nehow the thing is tht it jus' serves as a reminder tht i wsn't allowed to apply abroad..not tht i t wud hv made a dif. coz we cudn't afford it but mayb jus' mayb i cud hv gotten a fee waiver.like my sat score ws good and i barely studied fer it so if i knew i wud b allowed to go i'd hv actually hv made more effort.as it is i just study enuff to get me thru to where i hv to b.and ya kno it doesn't help ne wen students as k me wht i got in my sats and then go "why r u here?".

just stuff..

I'll still remember u..

i just wrote ths.been a while..

I'll still remember u..
Sometimes time just slips away
And no matter how hard u try
Or how much u pray
You just can't go bck

Sometimes dreams hv to b abandoned
Choices made
Life-altering choices..
Like the choices tht separate me and u
Creating a chasm so deep it can never be b broached

Evn thou we've reached tht point
Evn thou we've reached the old fork in the road
Evn thou our paths r different and never again will they cross
No matter where i go, no matter wht i do
I swear i'll still remember u

Years will pass
The world will change
Mayb so will u
But i know me and i know
I'd still remember u

waise there shud b an undo option here.i ws writing here directly and i ws copying it to the comp. but i accidently deleted it instead..yeah i know..dumb..already 2 ppl hv called me so and the third person wil get a bashing :evil:...
but seriously i've done ths b4..always wen i ws in a hurry and always wid very long or creative entries which is baaad..m e..n e e d..u n d o..o p t i o n..mayb i shud b writing to the tblog staff instead o' here..lol.

me really sleepy so me going to sleep..no really ths time..i swear..
hadd ho gayi hai..

Written in the stars

"Written In The Stars"

I am here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really, isn’t it, a word or two and then
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You think of me, or speak of me, or wonder what befell
The someone you once loved so long ago, so well
Never wonder what I’ll feel as living shuffles by
You don’t have to ask me and I need not reply
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand
Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time
Is this God’s experiment
In which we have no say
In which we’re given paradise
But only for a day
Nothing can be altered, oh, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no any place to hide
You are all I’ll ever want but this I am denyin’
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts I wish I never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned

just some leann rime lyrics..

hate expectations

can some1 tell me what is it wid the whole social protocol thing nehow?..like u kno i forgot to wish u on ur bd..so wht? or wait..mayb i didn't say it as nthusiastically as i ws (airquotes)supposed to(/airquotes)..so fuckin' wht?
i mail u evryday..doesn't that show u how much i care better than a sappy card sent once a year.i can't do some things.i can't b overly crushy and smothering wid u and i'll thnk u to do the same by me.im there wen u need me.i may b bored outta my mind but wen u dun wnt to b left alone i stay.i always take ur side.i listen to all ur stories-and not because i hv but coz i wnt to..i wnt to b a part of ur life sharing all ur ups and downs.so wht if emotional scenes make me wnt to vanish.so wht if need my space, if i need to go away for a while, if i dun tell how much i love u evry second.does it really matter that bloody much?
thnkfully most of my close friends-past and present-rn't the over-mushy, over emotional sorts but evry so often i come across a particularly bad case.can u really blame me then fer running away?

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ; ~silences separate more than distances~

~

just came frm my presentation...didn't go too bad.

no topic..so sue me

i hv ths presentation thing today and i picked 'legalizing drugs' as one part of the topic and u wudn't how much goddamn info. is available fer ths on the net.and its interesting too.

why oh why cudn't i hv come up wid ths for my research paper?!?

i'll hv just 2 minutes fer my part of the presentation but tht research paper is way too long and i just wish so much i cud switch topics on them..

tc ya' all

ps:me no happy wid bush winning...but atleast ths time if he screws up i can blame americans and not stand on the sidelines preaching abt not-generalizing n shyt...they picked im' again afterall.

pps:waise me nevr liked kerry eithr so i wudnt exactly hv been happy wid him winning but the prevalent slogan roundabts here went 'nething but bush' which i definitely su pported so..